I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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