piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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