i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Watching her eat just hurts me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
