what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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