On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
