I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
