Say something about gay babies.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
