tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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