i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
