so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
