I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
