They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
