which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
