Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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