dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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