if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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