We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
