I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
