Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
