I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
