Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
