yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
