There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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