glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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