please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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