I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
two words...techno handjob
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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