True but thats because hes a fetus.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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