nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Someone shit on the floor
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
