i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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