I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
