i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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