Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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