I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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