Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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