he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
