Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
