I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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