watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
