Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
