Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
