what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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