is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
