i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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