I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
