is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
