Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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