as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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