Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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