Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there's paper in my vomit.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize