Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Be still, my beating vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
