gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
