I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
