I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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