I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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