I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
