While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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