His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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