if i can run in heels then i can drive
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
