Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i dont even know how to be here
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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