Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
