Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
