is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
