There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
