Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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