If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if only i could text you this smell
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
