Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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