Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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