After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
