you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
