My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
