Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
